Great Big World Out There

inexplicable

My cousin's husband passed away yesterday morning.  Very sudden, they think it was an aneurysm. 

So sad I can't stand it.  We've managed to reach both my sister and my parents, all of whom are heading north as I type.  I hate sharing that kind of news over the phone.  My parents want to make it back in time for the funeral and Sylvia will be home tomorrow or Wednesday.

It's such a shock.  You never know how much time you've got.

***

I am in the throes of cleaning up the various 'projects' I've started over the past few months.  Why do I start these things and never finish them?  I've had stomach problems for at least a month now; I wake up the morning and feel dreadful for at least the first 5 hours I am awake.  Then we add in migraine type headaches and hot working conditions in my office and you've got a recipe for a whole pile of nothing getting done.

***
I've been working on my lit review.  I want to finish the nasty bits first so I haven't worked on the rest of things.  I think this is silly now that I think about it.  If I got the other bits written up I'd probably feel better about the whole stupid thing and then I'd have some real momentum.

Rather the way if I washed the kitchen floor I'd probably get a whole lot more cleaned because at least that would be done.  I just feel so crappy most of the time I can't be bothered. 

***

I got a new keyboard for the home computer, and it is a beauty.  Keys so gentle and soft you could have a wee nap on them between tasks. 

My first Friday Fill In

Since I haven't written a whole bunch lately, taking a break and all with vacation and general sickness of writing what with creating a thesis from scratch and all, I am taking this easy way out of a post.  Seen here.

1. "In a hole in the ground there lived a very small badger."

2. "I wrote an entire grant today but that ain't no matter."

3. "After dark the rain began to fall again, and like the snow that will never stop falling and never melt, it got a bit depressing."

4. "I'd like some more pieces of 8 from the hold of the Spanish galleon."

5. "There was a hand in the darkness, and it was cold as ice."

6. "Accidents ambush the unsuspecting, some idiots go looking for them."

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to the oilers game, tomorrow my plans include cleaning the house and Sunday, I want to go for lunch and a movie and spend some of my surprise $3000 cheque!

sleep

I have said  before that I am a dreadful sleeper.  I dread going to bed because I know I will not sleep for ages, except on rare occasions where I did not sleep the night before at all or did physical labour for 16 hours that day. 

Then I can be reasonably sure I will fall asleep within an hour.  possibly 2.

Most nights I have no such guarantee.  I have tried an assortment of things - OTC sleeping pills, the odd gravol here and there, warm milk, lavender pillows, etc. 

Recently I got one of those blue light thingies which recommends a dose of melatonin before bed.  I got a bottle in January and I've been fairly faithful with taking that.  I've also started using monavie juice which probably supplies at least some of the nutrients I miss in the rest of my food.

The thing I like about melatonin is that I don't feel like I'm swimming through jello the next morning.  I can wake at 630 and be ready to get out of bed immediately.  On any other med, this was impossible.  I typically fall asleep within an hour of going to bed. 

I am pleased.  And slightly more well rested, besides the crippling fatigue that hits most days around dinnertime.  WTF is up with that?

another verse, same as the first

I am so damn tired I can't stand it.  Last night I went to bed before 10 and was asleep by 1030.  This is not normal for me.  Granted I woke up about 3 times during the night which was just awesome but whatever.

We did a trip to Brawley today for groceries.  tomorrow we are invited out for lunch.

My eyes are so heavy I can hardly watch the hockey game.  We are winning, which is lovely. 

sun hot good

I am south, where it is warm, well, warmer than warm; in fact it is hot.  It is lovely.

The short update - I went quadding in the dunes, misjudged the start and end point of a dune and smashed my helmet faceplate off (fixable), jammed my shoulder and brused my hand, leg and strained my neck.  Ow.

It doesn't help that I already had neck issues.  This was certainly just what I needed.  The thing with whiplash is that it tends to get worse before it gets better - today was awful.  Naturally we spent the day looking up at the air show in El centro.  That was a lot of fun - I don't normally like air shows but this one wasn't overly crowded and you could get right up close to the action.  I need to download the 600+ pictures I took today - I decided I need a new lens for my camera that will let me zoom.

I am so tired.  Up early and long and hot all day.

this isn't right

I've got a bit of a problem.  My stomach is disgruntled, it has been displeased for the past couple of weeks.  It is often the kind of thing I can ignore, especially when I am very busy.  Then when I'm not so busy, it creeps up on me and I am miserable once more. 

Hence when I woke up this morning I wanted to die.  Preferably in very close vicinity to my bathroom.  As I type my stomach is psyching itself up for another round.

My joy is boundless.

So, I did not venture forth to work early this morning.  The roads were bad (dire predictions of DOOM! DANGER! DOOM! from the tv people) and I couldn't be away from my bathroom for more than a couple of minutes at a time.  My brother was in charge of cattle watching while the other brother was away today so he didn't go to work either.  He lost a calf between 630 and 745, which is frustrating and not good.  I think they will try putting a twin onto the cow and see what happens.  Poor cow.

I did have to go to the city to pick up my brother from the bus station, so while I had to do that I figured I might as well drop off all the stuff from the meetings in Red Deer.  Oi, was there ever a lot of stuff.  It took quite a while to unload - thankfully I had someone helping me which was nice.  I misplaced the truck keys in the morning though - I'd dashed out last night while the wind was rattling the windows to move my cousin's truck - I really didn't need a tree on his truck.  It was so bad outside I actually drove to the pasture to get my brother who was out checking cows.  Not a far journey by any stretch - but it was truly hideous outside. 

I stopped at a photography store to get a cleaning kit for my camera, then got to the bus station.  A stop at Future Shop, some fuel, some tea at Tim Hortons (and ill advised Wendy's) and then a stop at UFA.  Roads weren't terrible, but the highway was awful. 

My hands are terribly dry these days.  I had them mostly under control a couple of days ago, but now I've gotten behind and it is horribly cold and it is just bad.  I have things I am trying to do here at home but I can't focus for very long.  If I weren't leaving town on Sunday it wouldn't really matter. 

I've gotta go lie down.  So tired. 

a good night of sleep

You know, there's a lot to be said for a good night of sleep.  I've been working flat out to get ready for an event yesterday and sleep was low on the list of priorities.  I am proud that we took the time to eat breakfast yesterday morning. 

I am less proud that I have a bit of a headache this morning.  Such a lightweight am I.  When something like that is over, you have a drink.  I had a beer.  Mmm.  Beer.  Then a shot of baileys and this morning I kind of feel like hell.  Not a big bit of hell, just a little more hellacious than my normal unpleasant morning mood.

Then the weather turned sour, and the roads appear to be crap.  So maybe another night here.  We have a room at least.  I have a borrowed truck, I'm pulling a trailer and I want to destroy neither.  It would be sad and wrong so to do.